Wednesday, 6 July 2016

Forcing the words

Oh my goodness, I can not for the life of me believe how incredibly horrible the colours and layout for this little old blog are. No wonder I have had no interest in making the time to come and write here. It is just plain horrendous.

See, I told you it was horrendous. 
In fact it was so putrid to my eyes that I had to immediately change 

Slightly better, but since I am so time poor at the moment it will have to do for now.

So if I am so time poor why am I sitting here trying to tap something out I hear you ask?

Well the answer is simple.

Because I must or I fear I may just go stir crazy.

My desire to get words out is getting stronger and stronger by the day. 

The fear that the words will be crap or go unread is finally starting to dissipate as I remind myself that it does not matter.

What matters it that I stay true to myself and do what it is that makes my heart swell.

I so dearly want to be able to tell people I am a writer. Something I can never do if I do not write. So a writing I will go. 

Over at APL today I hit publish on this post. It has been sitting in my draft folder ever so patiently since April 29th. Yep two whole months. Just waiting for me to make the time to tweak it and get it just right. I hit publish on it earlier today. Actually, technically it was yesterday now because it is currently quarter past one in the morning. 

Time it is a fickle beast yes?

Anyway, the stupid post is now published, two months after I first decided to write it. Before I finally hit publish there were very little changes made. Those precious thoughts that I wanted to share back then have now vanished. Gone into the deep dark vortex that is the chasm of my mind and quite probably never to return again. My thoughts are so often like that. I think sometimes that is one of the reason I so desperately want to write. It is the only real way to preserve the thoughts of that moment.

So the thoughts from the April 29 are gone, forgotten...

Which is a shame because there is a part of me that feel they had some worth. They must have if they inspired me to start a blog post. They had something to do with body image and confidence and a whole array of other profound notions that I thought could make a difference to someone somewhere.

Oh the sighing.

On the upside though I am here now. Words have been written and others have been read. I remember now why writing kept failing to eventuate. I am so easily distracted. There is always something shiny catching my eye and dragging me away. Not that that is always a bad thing. It lead me to this post.

Maybe I will be a writer one day after all.