I am down at the school not so patiently waiting for Zany to run the cross country. It is cold and there is no coffee. Neither of which brings a smile to my face.
Part of me longs to be in with the cook parents crowd. They have all organised with each other who would do the coffee run and huddle around each other sipping their lattes and warming each other. I had thought that after a year of being here I might have found myself fitting in just a little more. But I haven't. Instead I am standing here in my brightly coloured homemade shawl standing out like a sore thumb. Looking incredibly rude because I am typing on my phone rather than being present in the moment of watching other people's kids run.
Hold on. Zany's turn is fast approaching.
Well that was short and sweet and I am now free from the shackles of present parenting and social isolation. Mind you in fairness to all the parents who have not made an effort to interact with me I not exactly gone out of my way to invite interaction.
As much as I enjoyed and miss the community at our old school being disengaged from it all certainly has some positives. Like being able to leave the moment my child has participated rather hang around just in case I might be needed somewhere for something. Granted I still take myself on a short guilt trip about it because I know how desperately schools need parent participation but I am learning to deal with it. I mean I still show up and do something just no longer push myself to do everything.